The following article was written with the author’s tongue firmly planted in cheek (careful!) and is to be read in the same manner.

I am no longer celebrating Christmas. It offends too many people in our nation. I would no more want to offend anyone than I would want to go on a two-week cruise to the Caribbean, which others may find offensive so maybe cruises should be outlawed. I digress.

Why is it that a minority expresses dissention in the way something is done and the liberal public cries foul until change occurs, but when we express outrage in the change we are labeled as intolerant psychos? I saw an opinion poll on The O’Reilly Factor last night which said that 87% of those polled thought crèches should be displayed on public property during Chri----- I mean the winter holiday versus 7% which thinks they ought not be displayed. So, in this country the minority rules. Well, if we wait long enough, Christians will be in the minority and we can get things back on track.

It turns out that music teacher Music teacher Mark Denison of Clover Creek Elementary School in Bethel WA has substituted the word “winter” in place of the word “Christmas” in “Winter” Carols being performed by the school’s choir. Now, Bing dreams of a White Winter. Is it now Rocking Around the Winter Tree? Is Nat King Cole roasting chestnuts on an open fire, with Jack Frost nipping at your nose and wishing everyone a Merry Winter? Merry Winter?!?!?

Maybe this is a good thing. I was just going through some carols in my head, carols, mind you, not songs, dealing with the celebration of Christ’s birth and noticed none of them mention the word “Christmas”. So maybe that is the fix for this dilemma. Sing Christmas Carols and not Winter Songs, and everything will be just fine.